First, I need to tell you why I am awake. Today was my first, official day back to work in almost 12 years. I hit the bed tired. Exhausted.
Just before 1:00 AM, my will-be-five-tomorrow daughter, Lillie, starts screaming from her room across the hall. My first-responder-Mama feet hit the floor. BLAM! I rush in to diagnose. She is shaking, hot, sobbing, crying so hard she is gagging. The flu, I thought. She has the flu. Are you going to throw up? I don’t wait for a response. I wrench her out of bed. She can’t throw up in the bed…on her bear-the-size-of-me that she sleeps with. Oh, no. She’s still screaming. I can’t believe she has the flu. Shhh…. She can’t wake up her two-year-old brother sleeping in the same room. Shhh… Shut the bathroom door. Flip on the lights. We are both blinded. She’s crying harder now, standing on the cold, tile floor in her bare feet and nightgown. I’m in such a hurry to get her to the toilet before the mess flows that I wrench off the toilet seat–like ALL THE WAY OFF. It was broken anyway. My daughter is sobbing, shaking, standing over a gaping seat-less toilet in the glaring light of the bathroom. I am instructing her to throw up in the toilet. It’s ok. It’s ok. I keep repeating. Shhh… I grab a rubber band and pull her hair back. I am prepared. Rubbing her back. Breathing for her. I take a deep breath and realize in about six more seconds that she is…not sick…NOT going to throw up. My precious girl has had a bad dream. I have just dragged her out of bed, flipped on the lights, and stood her over a toilet bowl without a seat. NO WONDER SHE IS HYSTERICAL. Oh, my word. Quiet apologies. Tuck her back in the lap of the huge bear she sleeps with. I asked her what in the world has her so upset. “Dudder (Her nickname for her oldest brother) is carrying a sloth.” A sloth? “Yes, and in my room there is a WORM, not a sloth, that is tearing up my ro–oo–om.” And just like that she falls back to sleep. Just like that. She is fast asleep and I am wide awake. I have laughed out loud at my huge mistake already this morning…and wanted to tell someone. This seems terribly funny in the middle of the night when no one is up to laugh with me.
I’ve been wanting to write for days. On Thursday, we bought a local, established retail business that has been almost a year-long process. I’ve wanted to share with you our hopes and dreams and the adventure of it all. God’s fingerprints are all over this right now and it has been beautiful. I want to talk about my struggle to merge homeschooling-mother-of-four-from-teen-to-toddler with entrepreneur-wanna-be. There is a story there. I am sure of it. Right now, though, I am stuck in the peace that comes in the quiet of the middle of the night. I am inside a moment that had me laughing out loud and wide-awake enough to decide to write it down. My split-second, wrong deduction that created a story worth sitting up and writing down. I hope to get back with you soon and tell you of our Woodventures…how this word is changing and growing before us… For now, though, I am going back to bed. 2:16 AM. I think I lost an hour and twenty minutes of sleep. It was worth it to write this down. Thank you for listening. Excuse the mess. Pardon my progress.